The day I found out that I was finally assigned a court date to finalize my divorce, I immediately reached out to my photographer to schedule a photo shoot. I wanted to do a divorce photo shoot unlike any of the other divorce photo shoots I saw on my google and Pinterest search. Most of those images were fueled by bitterness, rage and revenge. Depicted with burning wedding dresses, destroying property they once shared, or even downing liquor in provocative clothes. None of those photos inspired me and wasn’t how I wanted to capture this final chapter of my marriage. I was not bitter. I was not angry. I was not unforgiving. I was not the newly single who wanted to mingle and downing alcohol in lingerie was definitely not an option. Instead I wanted to capture the peace in my release. I wanted to show that it is possible to heal from a divorce and to move forward in full wholeness. I wanted to show that divorce doesn’t have to be a sad or angry thing. And most of all I wanted to shift the focus from my emotions for my former spouse to me and my healing journey and show that all this could be done with grace, dignity and class.
For those of you who are new to my blog or Instagram you have some catching up to do! I separated from my husband in August of 2016, decided to divorce in October of 2016, filed for Divorce in January of 2017 and have been waiting patiently for this day to come. I’ve shared this journey of mine throughout my Instagram and via my blog and have self titled this season #BloomingUnapologetically. This divorce was honestly the best decision I’ve ever made. It took me a while to make the decision and even longer to actually act on it but today was the day. I am divorced and I am ecstatic! Today marked the end to a significant chapter in my life and turned the page to my rebirth.
My photo shoot was just yesterday and even then it hadn’t hit me yet that I was soon to receive my freedom. I never thought the day would come. I doubted that the process would be this easy and I fervently prayed that my ex husband would stay cooperative. We had some hiccups during the process but none derived from our inability to cooperate with each other. That part was actually seamless and peaceful. When I filed for divorce in January, the first set of documents he mailed back to me was lost is the mail for 3 months. By the time he got the second set of documents, he got the first set sent back to him marked returned to sender. By April he resent the original signed and notarized documents and I filed them immediately. Upon the judge’s review almost a month later, I found out that he unknowingly didn’t sign the Waiver of Service which was the most important document in our case so we had to start all over again. New documents to be mailed, more filing and almost another month waiting period to know if everything was filled out correctly to be assigned a court date. I never got impatient. I could’ve made the couple hour drive to him and hand delivered the documents but I stayed cool, calm and collected and continued to bloom in the meantime.
I figured that God’s perfect timing was obviously better than my timing and didn’t question His judgement. I wasn’t in a rush, I just wanted it to get done. So I focused on myself and my healing in the meantime and within a few months I had reached a substantial bloom. I fully committed to exercise, working out 6 days a week alternating between my boxing bootcamp, sessions with my personal trainer and running a total of 12 miles a week. I officially transitioned from a vegetarian to a vegan after watching What the Health on Netflix. I am actively building my modeling portfolio and I’ve been traveling all over the US and even Egypt and Dubai back in February. But that still only speaks to the physical things I’ve done. I’ve also gotten mentally, spiritually and emotionally stronger by keeping my faith, actively practicing forgiveness and protecting my peace by staying in the company of edifying friendships.
I’ve had a strong support as I’ve gone through this rebirthing process. Some people have been with me since the very beginning and some are new additions or readmissions into this season of my life but nevertheless all equally important. I want to personally thank anyone who has had a role in my journey. First I want to thank my biological big sister Bree, who is the best attorney I could ever ask for and kicked into high gear from the moment I informed her I was proceeding with divorce. She sorted through all the legal stuff and has accompanied me from the post office, to kinkos and the courthouse from day one. I’d like to thank my spiritual sister-friend-nutritionist-life coach-photographer, Victoria, featured in my blog post “Destiny Is Disruptive. That ‘Friend’ that I Chose Over My Husband” who is still in my life and has continued to be a breath of life to my spirituality, overall health and personal growth. I’d like to thank my friend and personal trainer, Micah, featured in my blog post “Our Love Story. Don’t Let His Lows Fool You. He Was Indeed Beautiful” who is back in my life and actively helping me reach my fitness goals and has been a huge supporter of my healing journey. And
last but not least the whole host of family, friends, coworkers, and social media followers who have been cheering me on along the way as I live this season out for all to see and read. Every like, comment, view or subscription encourages me to continue my transparency. Today marked a definite end but yet still the beginning. My bloom is visible but I am not finished evolving yet!
I’ll be sharing more images from my photo shoot soon!