My Modeling Evolution

It’s been a while since I’ve done a #TransformationTuesday so I thought this before and after would only be fitting since my modeling career is blooming right along with me. A lot has changed since the pictures on the left so let’s take it back a couple years to 2017 and I’ll paint the context. I was fresh in my #BloomingUnapologetically journey. I filed for divorce that January, which for me was the key that released me to fully pursue me. It set the tone for me to step outside my box or better stated, crawl from under my rock. Modeling was a childhood dream of mine that I buried because I was told being plus sized wasn’t something I should celebrate or acknowledge. Due to that belief, most of my life I battled with my weight and hid behind clothes that would downplay my curves and plus size figure. Modeling didn’t even cross my mind again until I chose to pursue my dreams and conquer my fears as I began this healing journey. The end of my marriage served as the catalyst that I needed to propel me to be the best me. I decided that I would face my biggest battles with my fluctuating weight and address the root of my lack of confidence.

Afraid to Move?

If you already follow me on Instagram I have shared that I am moving to Boston in a couple weeks, September 1st to be exact. I'm not originally from Dallas, Texas. I am a southern California native who migrated to Dallas with an ultimatum given by my parents. They told me I had to move or they wouldn’t pay my tuition. Having no possible rebuttal, I moved to Dallas in June of 2010 and I wasn't too thrilled about my move back then. I had created a life in Cali that I was knee deep in but when it was time for me to leave, I was more than ready for a fresh start. I was tapped out of resources, had even spent some time homeless, practically living out my car and sleeping out of various friends’ houses. I entertained more toxic and pointless relationships than I could keep up with and had completely lost sight of my identity. I lied to most, if not all of the men I was involved with. Whatever you needed me to be, that was me but it came with a price. It cost me my peace and sanity. I filled my time with toxicity but even in the midst of all that confusion, I wanted to be free. I moved to Texas cutting off many ties to my old life in California. I left toxic relationships cold turkey, got back on my health and fitness, and committed to celibacy within the first few months of my move. I stayed in most of the time, only going out to church or on family trips. I needed to shut out my past and prepare for my future but I began having withdrawals. Through the funding of the pimp, I returned back to California, craving a reminder of home. I spent almost two months in California that fall and I got that reminder plus a few other life lessons I carry with me as a result of that relapse trip. What happened to me on that trip sobered me up. It set a defining moment where I realized that California will always be my birthplace but never again my home.