Disclaimer: written on 11/2/23 🤭

I never thought I’d say this y’all, but I’m ready to be a wife… again.

Recently, there has been a deep peace that has settled in me on this subject to the point where it doesn’t give me anxiety when I think or speak about it. That is an indication of major growth and healing for me and I’ve had some recent hands on experience. My boyfriend and I have been living together for just over a year now and it has been my most seamless experience with a man by far!

Hold on, let me back up and catch some of y’all up to speed! A a lot has happened since my last blog post so let’s recap and share some new info with my blog readers. 

A majority of you all know that I was married before, divorced in June of 2017 and in September of 2017 I moved to Boston from Dallas for a fresh start. My sister, my son, and I had the time of our lives living in Boston for those 5 years. We really established roots, set career precedents, I followed my modeling dreams, continued my weight loss/wellness journey and even had surgery to remove the excess skin left over from my 100+ lb weight loss. All of this took place alongside me meeting someone very special, and a Boston native, in December of 2018.

Completely unintentional and without expectations, I allowed for this new love story to unfold and grow at its own pace. Now, those who know me, know that although I’m very much a go with the flow type person, I typically am not like that in my serious relationships. It doesn’t take me that long to know if I love someone or want them in my future but in this relationship I personally allowed my self to experience, observe and enjoy without me intentionally trying to move things along within a specific time frame.

Let me know if I’ve lost y’all, but what I’m trying to say is that I released all expectations while navigating this relationship and just allowed it to flow and grow freely into the depth we have reached today. I didn’t have any strict speed requirements or ultimatums. I just required peace and progression. That mindset has rewarded me with the most peaceful, most rewarding and most reciprocated relationship I’ve ever been in.

So, that brings us to present day. Brey and I have moved back to Dallas and Bae has joined us! Well, we’ve been here for over a year now but we are well into our groove and are establishing our roots as a family in this new setting. All has been well. All is still progressing and most importantly, I have evolved! I’m fully invested into this mom and wifey life! 

That may not seem like a big deal, but it’s a huge deal to me and to those who truly know me. Truth is, I’m not very domestic nor motherly. I know that I’m a whole mother to a middle schooler but a majority of his life he was raised hand in hand with my sister. I played more of the father/masculine role and she was a rockstar at domestic and motherly duties. Since my move back to Texas, I had to dust off my dormant skills and put them fully into action.

No lie, during our 28 hour drive from Boston to Dallas, I almost had an anxiety attack about this. I was super intimidated with the thought of being responsible for someone else besides me as I was the one moving them away from what was familiar and their routine. I didn’t think I was capable and I wasn’t confident that I could cook them meals that they would enjoy or that would satisfy their appetite. For reference, I’m vegan and they aren’t. Not only had I not cooked non-vegan food in over 6 years, I didn’t really cook like that before going vegan and realistically just began cooking for myself in the last 2-3 years.

I’m happy to say that I adapted quickly and pretty much seamlessly. Mothering, I think, was just a natural instinct for me. Especially when I can’t rely on my big sister to do the things/tasks that I’d prefer not to. It’s like I was back to being a single mother but not really because I have an involved man. I have assistance like I did in Boston, but just a different type of assistance, in a very much needed role. I was able to drop the masculinity and get back to the feminine part of me.

Y’all, I can’t believe that I’m cooking. And might I add, I’m pretty good at it and get rave reviews from Bae and Brey weekly. I’m homemaking. I’m meal prepping weekly and I knocked the dust off my wife qualities. Now, before the judgmental people give me the side eye for doing wifey duties for a boyfriend, I’m fully aware and completely confident in the trajectory of my relationship.

Marriage is for sure in our future but just like I shared earlier, I am allowing my self to experience, observe and enjoy without intentionally trying to move things along within a specific time frame. Truth be told, I’ve done the quick engagements and marriage before. It didn’t work for me and I missed a lot of red flags. I am happy to report that I’m in love with my life and my little family.

To be continued… probably when I have another life update for y’all lol!

P.S. I’m fully aware that being a wife is way more than being motherly and domestic. I possess and use all those other qualities too. I speak from experience and got rave reviews then too. Even if it was after the fact and heard through the grapevine lol. 

***see blog post “I Miss Being A Wife” Nov 2017 & “Insecurities” July 2018 for reference on my growth.

Follow me on IG @tatyanajalisa if you want to catch the behind the scenes.